"Love," "Marriage," and "Divorce."

As of this morning, the dream turned nightmare will officially be over. We go before the courts and make official that admittance that, yet again, the words "love" and "marriage" are just catchphrases, and hold little real meaning.

What has happened to the world? Where is the character? Where is the moral values? Where is the strength in spirit? Why have we, as a society and the world at large, allowed the sacred institutions of love and marriage become so trivial?

We stand up with our anti-rainbow rings to shut down lesbians and gays from using the term marriage, pretending in that instance that it still means something. Yet, as a society, people constantly get married and divorced as if we are all trapped in Salem and "Days of Our Lives."
No matter how entertaining and exciting and intriguing it might be to see Bo go from Billy to Hope to Billy to Hope and back again....or see John with Kate, Kate with Roman, John with Marlena, Roman with Marlena, or any of 1,000 combinations...one thing holds true: the constant switching with little to no real thought or emotional attachments is immoral, wrong, and disgraceful. It might be a show, but our society is just like it.

Far too often I hear or see people getting married because they should, because its what they are supposed to do. Instead of finding the person who you want to spend your life with, the goal is to find the person who hangs in the longest and then get hitched. It is few and far between to find a REAL marriage based on REAL love..and that is sad.

When I got married, as quick as it might have been, I got married for the right reasons. I was in love and intended to spend my life making my wife happy and was willing to fight with every ounce of my being to make us work through the hard times. I intended on marrying one person and spending my life loving that one person. Sadly, she had other reasons for getting married, and those reasons are still a painful mystery.

Part of our problem is that we are all programmed to think sex is a major function of EVERY relationship. If you are with a girl 3 weeks and she's not giving in, there MUST be something wrong, right? If a guy resists the temptation, the woman feels its an insult and its because he really isn't attracted to her. If one partner doesn't want to have sex immediately, there MUST be something wrong with the people involved and the relationship itself.

I gave in, sadly, and devalued the gift of sex by participating before marriage. I only gave in for two reasons: I knew in my heart that I was with the woman I was going to marry, and I felt pressured and that my not giving in was hurting her feelings and would hurt our relationship.

Unfortunately, giving in did hurt the relationship and we didn't allow the proper foundation for a relationship to be built. Perhaps because of that she was able to drop me so easily...in her case there was no real foundation because we rushed every part of the relationship and it distorted her views.

That is the biggest problem...most people today don't know how to build a relationship without getting into bed immediately. You can never really love someone if the growth of the relationship depends on sex. That is the root of the problem. Sex is devalued and used as a recreational activity with little to no moral responsibility.

If the gift designed for a husband and wife is devalued, it only stands to reason and logic that the next step would be the crumbling of the meaning of marriage. If you can have sex for free, why go through the rigamarole of building a relationship and a solid marriage?

This blog has probably ranted enough. I just wish that the next time I am able to give someone my heart and marry again, they will share my beliefs. Beliefs that say marriage is sacred, and not a legal agreement that will eventually become an inconvinience because they didn't enter it with the proper beliefs and values.

I hope that those with children, or those still growing themselves, will become examples of this idea. The idea that love and marriage really do mean something and should not be thrown around like the term "lol" in an IM conversation. The idea that divorce should be avoided at ALL costs, and only be a LAST resort, and come about after both parties have given each other the best effort they can.