As we enter the final week of a wild 2008, I just wanted to take pause to speak on a few things.
First, and foremost, I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! I hope today's events lifted your spirits and gave you reason to once again be thankful for all of your blessings.
In this fast-paced, reaction over response society, we are allowing too much of what is on the news to determine our spiritual, emotional, and relationship well-being. We panic because th Dow keeps going down. We cringe each time another business goes belly-up. We dig our nails into the arms of the chair we are sitting in whenever we hear the words "bail out."
Since the bubble burst in September, the country has become psychologically depressed, which has led to a vicious cycle that is worsening the problem. We let the repetitive news cycle destroy our collective, and individual, psyche. We have let the noise drown out the truth...that we are really, truly, okay.
If you are reading this, be thankful. You have access to electricity, and the luxury...yes, luxury...of internet access. If your stomach is not turning and growling like a caged animal, be thankful. You have access to food. If you tell someone that you agreed with or disagreed with in this, or any other blog, be thankful. You have someone to talk to. If you have to pause while reading this because of a doorbell or phone ringing, be thankful. You have people who want to reach you, and you have a place at which you can be reached. If the kids won't go to bed tonight because they are still excited about what they got this morning, be thankful. You made a child's day and were able to share time with people.
We are not in a Great Depression. We are just depressed.
For the rest of the holiday season, re-ignite your loves...your family, your hobbies, your friendships. Turn on the TV for only the local weather, or better yet, just click over to accuweather.com or theweatherchannel.com and get your weather forecast. Ignore the news for the rest of the year. Then, turn on the TV on the 31st to count down to a new year...a new beginning.
If you end 2008 on that note, regardless of you job situation, your 401K situation, or your investment situation...if you invest yourself into your loves, 2008 will definitely end on a high note for you.
Merry Christmas! God Bless us all this holiday season!
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Would You Marry This Man?
Hi, my name is Barry.
I went to Columbia University. But, I can't tell you anything about my time there.
After Columbia, I worked on the streets of Chicago. In that time, I crossed paths with many people who could be deemed "radicals." I associated with groups that have been associated, if not fully guilty, of federal crimes and fraud, but I will not talk about them. I will only tell you it is in the past.
After that time, I went to Harvard. But, you cannot ask about, nor find out about, anything about by time there. My senior thesis is buried and hidden, and no one will release it for public consumption.
I have ties to a man who worked with a domestic terrorist group. One person I work with has described my relationship to this terrorist as "friendly." I say we barely know each other. I just happened to pick his house and living room to host a party that launched my political career and campaign to be state senator. Yet, he is not important.
I spent over 2 decades listening to the rants of an Anti-American, Anti-White, radical preacher. I sat in his parish for most of my adult life, and never had a difference of opinion with him...at least until I ran for a national office. My church of over 20 years has been a pulpit full of racist, bigoted, anti-American sludge. However, you cannot be allowed to hold that into question, unless you, yourself, are a racist!
You cannot question my past. You cannot investigate my associates. You cannot consider my radical friends, associates, mentors, religious leaders, or anyone else I have spent time with in forming my political philosophies, beliefs, and goals.
All you can do, unless you are a racist, is take my words at their face value. Unless you are a racist, you have to believe what I say on Monday, and then change what you believe when I speak on Tuesday, because a new poll has come out and I have changed my message.
Will you marry me?
Or, are you racist?
Would you marry a man whose past you could not learn about? Would you date a man who had so many radical connections that he held for so long without serious and public denouncement of? Would you date a man that refused to release any information about his college years, about his connections to a fraudulent, strong-arming political machine like ACORN, about his time as a community organizer?
Would you let a man you know nothing about be your significant other?
Then, why would you let him take charge of your life and you future?
I went to Columbia University. But, I can't tell you anything about my time there.
After Columbia, I worked on the streets of Chicago. In that time, I crossed paths with many people who could be deemed "radicals." I associated with groups that have been associated, if not fully guilty, of federal crimes and fraud, but I will not talk about them. I will only tell you it is in the past.
After that time, I went to Harvard. But, you cannot ask about, nor find out about, anything about by time there. My senior thesis is buried and hidden, and no one will release it for public consumption.
I have ties to a man who worked with a domestic terrorist group. One person I work with has described my relationship to this terrorist as "friendly." I say we barely know each other. I just happened to pick his house and living room to host a party that launched my political career and campaign to be state senator. Yet, he is not important.
I spent over 2 decades listening to the rants of an Anti-American, Anti-White, radical preacher. I sat in his parish for most of my adult life, and never had a difference of opinion with him...at least until I ran for a national office. My church of over 20 years has been a pulpit full of racist, bigoted, anti-American sludge. However, you cannot be allowed to hold that into question, unless you, yourself, are a racist!
You cannot question my past. You cannot investigate my associates. You cannot consider my radical friends, associates, mentors, religious leaders, or anyone else I have spent time with in forming my political philosophies, beliefs, and goals.
All you can do, unless you are a racist, is take my words at their face value. Unless you are a racist, you have to believe what I say on Monday, and then change what you believe when I speak on Tuesday, because a new poll has come out and I have changed my message.
Will you marry me?
Or, are you racist?
Would you marry a man whose past you could not learn about? Would you date a man who had so many radical connections that he held for so long without serious and public denouncement of? Would you date a man that refused to release any information about his college years, about his connections to a fraudulent, strong-arming political machine like ACORN, about his time as a community organizer?
Would you let a man you know nothing about be your significant other?
Then, why would you let him take charge of your life and you future?
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
The Unfair Fight That Should Unify Conservatives, Women, and Mothers
Here is the situation.
On one side, you have the wife of a presidential candidate actively campaigning, speaking at rallies, and regularly sticking her foot in her mouth by making snide remarks about her country. This woman has called America a "mean" country. She said that the fact that her husband's ability to run for and win a party's nomination for president makes her "proud of [her] country" for the first time. She is an active member of the campaign. She is a campaign spokesperson. Yet, she is beyond reproach. Any questions about her are low-brow, below the belt, low class, and just plain wrong.
On the other side, you have a woman who has accepted the nomination to be her party's Vice President. Her family appears with her at times, but they do not speak. They are not involved in the campaign. They are her family, a separate part of her life. Her husband does not take the stump for her. Her children are not speaking at the national convention. Yet, all of the left-wing media, from the 5,000 failing NBC channels to CNN to ABC to MSN.com to Yahoo.com, all of them are attacking her family, the brunt of the attack focused on a teenage girl.
This campaign has gotten out of hand. I can deal with the media being so obviously biased for Barack Obama. I can live with their 10 times more favorable coverage of Hussein Obama. I can live with the rockstar-like coverage of his field trip to the middle east and Europe. I can even deal with the fact non of his left-wing media friends, and he has a lot, questioned his skipping out on meeting with injured troops in Germany. I can live with all the attacks against McCain or Sarah Palin. I can live with being called racist for not liking Obama, even though his ethnicity has no bearing whatsoever on my dislike.
However, I have a serious, serious problem with attacking a seventeen year-old girl. I have a serious issue with attacks against a teenager who has made a mistake that millions of teens have done, a mistake celebrated and encouraged by most people on the same side that are now attacking her. I have a serious problem with these irresponsible media folks attacking an innocent family for something that has zero bearing on the campaign.
It is just another sad example of how Obama is not qualified to be President. At no point in the 2008 election has Obama shown and outlined his qualifications. He cannot and will not run on the issues. He knows it. The democrats know it. The media knows it. So, they have to run attacks and smears like going after a pregnant teenager.
Pre-marital and unprotected sex are not things I endorse. I am sure Sarah Palin and her husband did not endorse nor encourage their 17-year-old to practice those type of things. However, she is a teen. Teens make mistakes. Teens think they know it all and do things they might later regret. It happens. Yet this teen and her family are united. They are supporting the teen who has opted to keep the baby. She plans to wed the father of the baby. There are far greater errors in judgement teens can make.
How low-brow is it to attack a family and embarrass, hurt, and psychologically scar a 17-year-old girl? How is this okay, yet to question Michelle Obama and her slightly anti-American comments a travesty of travesties?
How can you people sleep at night?
I like Sarah Palin. Her resume might be a little on the thin side, yet she has more executive, decision-making experience than Barack Obama. She has stuck her neck out an enabled change in a short time in the Governor's Office in Juneau, Alaska. She has a track record. She has a policy-based platform to run on as Vice President. She offers more qualifications and experience than Obama, who is running to be President. She is strong, smart, of high morals, and will bring change to Washington. She is a no-nonsense person who will fight for what is right, not what is popular.
She also offers the answer to many Hillary supporters. Those voters, especially many of the women voters, are upset that Obama is in and Hillary did not even get considered to be on the ticket as Vice President. Sarah Palin scares the Democrats. She, like McCain, cannot be defeated on issues.
So, what can they do?
Attack her 17-year-old daughter.
Way to go.
On one side, you have the wife of a presidential candidate actively campaigning, speaking at rallies, and regularly sticking her foot in her mouth by making snide remarks about her country. This woman has called America a "mean" country. She said that the fact that her husband's ability to run for and win a party's nomination for president makes her "proud of [her] country" for the first time. She is an active member of the campaign. She is a campaign spokesperson. Yet, she is beyond reproach. Any questions about her are low-brow, below the belt, low class, and just plain wrong.
On the other side, you have a woman who has accepted the nomination to be her party's Vice President. Her family appears with her at times, but they do not speak. They are not involved in the campaign. They are her family, a separate part of her life. Her husband does not take the stump for her. Her children are not speaking at the national convention. Yet, all of the left-wing media, from the 5,000 failing NBC channels to CNN to ABC to MSN.com to Yahoo.com, all of them are attacking her family, the brunt of the attack focused on a teenage girl.
This campaign has gotten out of hand. I can deal with the media being so obviously biased for Barack Obama. I can live with their 10 times more favorable coverage of Hussein Obama. I can live with the rockstar-like coverage of his field trip to the middle east and Europe. I can even deal with the fact non of his left-wing media friends, and he has a lot, questioned his skipping out on meeting with injured troops in Germany. I can live with all the attacks against McCain or Sarah Palin. I can live with being called racist for not liking Obama, even though his ethnicity has no bearing whatsoever on my dislike.
However, I have a serious, serious problem with attacking a seventeen year-old girl. I have a serious issue with attacks against a teenager who has made a mistake that millions of teens have done, a mistake celebrated and encouraged by most people on the same side that are now attacking her. I have a serious problem with these irresponsible media folks attacking an innocent family for something that has zero bearing on the campaign.
It is just another sad example of how Obama is not qualified to be President. At no point in the 2008 election has Obama shown and outlined his qualifications. He cannot and will not run on the issues. He knows it. The democrats know it. The media knows it. So, they have to run attacks and smears like going after a pregnant teenager.
Pre-marital and unprotected sex are not things I endorse. I am sure Sarah Palin and her husband did not endorse nor encourage their 17-year-old to practice those type of things. However, she is a teen. Teens make mistakes. Teens think they know it all and do things they might later regret. It happens. Yet this teen and her family are united. They are supporting the teen who has opted to keep the baby. She plans to wed the father of the baby. There are far greater errors in judgement teens can make.
How low-brow is it to attack a family and embarrass, hurt, and psychologically scar a 17-year-old girl? How is this okay, yet to question Michelle Obama and her slightly anti-American comments a travesty of travesties?
How can you people sleep at night?
I like Sarah Palin. Her resume might be a little on the thin side, yet she has more executive, decision-making experience than Barack Obama. She has stuck her neck out an enabled change in a short time in the Governor's Office in Juneau, Alaska. She has a track record. She has a policy-based platform to run on as Vice President. She offers more qualifications and experience than Obama, who is running to be President. She is strong, smart, of high morals, and will bring change to Washington. She is a no-nonsense person who will fight for what is right, not what is popular.
She also offers the answer to many Hillary supporters. Those voters, especially many of the women voters, are upset that Obama is in and Hillary did not even get considered to be on the ticket as Vice President. Sarah Palin scares the Democrats. She, like McCain, cannot be defeated on issues.
So, what can they do?
Attack her 17-year-old daughter.
Way to go.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
I'm Still a Guy...
Brad Paisley currently has a song on the charts simply called, "I'm Still a Guy." It is a simply, funny, testosterone and masculinity infested song that reminds us of what is wrong with society.
In a less humorous but even more poingiant work, Dr. James Dobson looks at the eroding ideals of maleness and masculinity in his book, Bringing Up Boys.
The issues and themes that the song and the book have in common is that there is a constant, successful, and damaging attack on maleness and what it means to be a MAN. Our society is destroying and eradicating what it is that naturally makes men and women different.
This blog is a two-part series of my opinions of the lack of real “men” in our world’s society. Of course, this is the type of thing that is a broad generalization. There is no rule or implication of a rule of society. However, this two-part blog is an indictment of society as a whole. Everyday you might be able to see or hear about exceptions to this blog and its ideas. Nonetheless, on the whole, this blog, I think, accurately describes and investigates the castration of society.
No longer are men celebrated as being hairy, brutish, strong, cocky, competitive, and instinctive leaders. Men are supposed to be full of estrogen and "think" and "feel" and exfoliate and moisturize and remove excess hair. Men are becoming women and women are becoming the middle ground, somewhat masculine, yet still a hint of femininity. Men, however, are constantly derided for having masculinity and defining themselves as different than women.
Males within the human species are becoming de-gendered. There are these metro-sexuals that are blurring the lines between gay and straight, man and woman. It is adversely affecting our society.
We, as human beings, are not decedents of metro-sexual cavemen. We are not the end result of generations of humans who did not differentiate the sexes. Humans come from male hunters and gatherers, and from female home makers.
Now, do not get me wrong. There is NOTHING wrong with women in the workplace. There is no problem and I hold no grudge or ill-will towards a two-working-parent household. I am not sexist, nor am I anti-woman. To accuse me of being sexist and anti-woman would be incredibly ridiculous and far off from my point.
The point of this blog is to call on males to recapture what it is to be a MAN. Men are supposed to get sweaty. Men are supposed to get their hands dirty. Men are hunters and gatherers. Men are competitive. Men do not use loofa sponges. Men do not get pedicures and manicures and facials. Men do not get botox injections. Men, at least those who are not Olympic swimmers, do not shave from nose to toes. Men do not pluck their eyebrows.
We have a severe lack of masculinity in our society. Society worked best when there were clear definitions of what a man was and what a woman was. Boys today have instincts to be little men, yet they have no one to look to in order for them to channel their masculine energies into becoming strong and capable men.
Part two will be posted tomorrow. Please feel free to comment about your feelings.
In a less humorous but even more poingiant work, Dr. James Dobson looks at the eroding ideals of maleness and masculinity in his book, Bringing Up Boys.
The issues and themes that the song and the book have in common is that there is a constant, successful, and damaging attack on maleness and what it means to be a MAN. Our society is destroying and eradicating what it is that naturally makes men and women different.
This blog is a two-part series of my opinions of the lack of real “men” in our world’s society. Of course, this is the type of thing that is a broad generalization. There is no rule or implication of a rule of society. However, this two-part blog is an indictment of society as a whole. Everyday you might be able to see or hear about exceptions to this blog and its ideas. Nonetheless, on the whole, this blog, I think, accurately describes and investigates the castration of society.
No longer are men celebrated as being hairy, brutish, strong, cocky, competitive, and instinctive leaders. Men are supposed to be full of estrogen and "think" and "feel" and exfoliate and moisturize and remove excess hair. Men are becoming women and women are becoming the middle ground, somewhat masculine, yet still a hint of femininity. Men, however, are constantly derided for having masculinity and defining themselves as different than women.
Males within the human species are becoming de-gendered. There are these metro-sexuals that are blurring the lines between gay and straight, man and woman. It is adversely affecting our society.
We, as human beings, are not decedents of metro-sexual cavemen. We are not the end result of generations of humans who did not differentiate the sexes. Humans come from male hunters and gatherers, and from female home makers.
Now, do not get me wrong. There is NOTHING wrong with women in the workplace. There is no problem and I hold no grudge or ill-will towards a two-working-parent household. I am not sexist, nor am I anti-woman. To accuse me of being sexist and anti-woman would be incredibly ridiculous and far off from my point.
The point of this blog is to call on males to recapture what it is to be a MAN. Men are supposed to get sweaty. Men are supposed to get their hands dirty. Men are hunters and gatherers. Men are competitive. Men do not use loofa sponges. Men do not get pedicures and manicures and facials. Men do not get botox injections. Men, at least those who are not Olympic swimmers, do not shave from nose to toes. Men do not pluck their eyebrows.
We have a severe lack of masculinity in our society. Society worked best when there were clear definitions of what a man was and what a woman was. Boys today have instincts to be little men, yet they have no one to look to in order for them to channel their masculine energies into becoming strong and capable men.
Part two will be posted tomorrow. Please feel free to comment about your feelings.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Women! Listen!
I wanted to discuss an important topic.
Ladies.
Yes, ladies. I am making some generalizations in this little rambling, but I think about everyone could take something out of what I am saying. I might sound like I am on some kind of high horse...and maybe I am. But I think this needs to be said and repeated over, and over and over and over...
The reason this is such an issue is that there is a serious lack of ladies in the world today. Even fewer little girls will grow up to be ladies in the years to come.
By lady, I mean a woman who is confident, modest, strong, and values herself as a person and refuses to be objectified as a "piece." I mean a woman who is strong enough to live and be happy without selling her body for acceptance and "love."
Too often, on TV, in movies, in songs, in every aspect of life, girls are taught that letting a boy have his way with them is acceptable and encouraged. Girls are ingrained with the idea that sex is their only asset to get what they think they want. And what they think they want is also ingrained by the same venues that teach them that they are only as good as the amount of cleavage they show or partners they have.
So, today, as a man, I want to stop the trend. I don't want some easy tramp who thinks the only way I might love her is if she sleeps with me. I don't want some woman who is incomplete by herself and needs to feel wanted, and they stoop to any level to get that feeling of want, even if it is misguided and more lust than true want.
Instead, what I want is a woman with confidence. A woman who knows that she is more that just a notch on a bedpost. A woman who thinks for herself and doesn't buy into the idea that showing more and giving more is the right way to live. A woman with morals. A woman with her head on straight. Someone who can intrigue me without unbuttoning her blouse.
Women, its time to stand up for yourselves. Stop letting yourself get walked on and treated as a piece of tail. You have so much more to offer. Be proud of who you are and be strong. Stop listening to what 50 Cent or Ludacris or Eminem or any of 1,000 singers might say...stop looking at movies and TV shows....you can still watch and enjoy them, but stop learning their misguided lessons.
Girls today have lost the innocence and modesty that makes women so incredible. High school girls compete for lovers and numbers of partners like boys used to only claim to have done in locker rooms. Far too many girls are running out of fingers to count their partners on before they get a high school diploma. Too many girls are under the impression that it is okay to be promiscuous and to dress in revealing and slutty clothes. Too many girls are growing up as cheap, easy, incomplete people whose life consists of too high an emphasis on sex.
Girls might want to blame guys...say guys are the reason because guys are brought up to think the same thing. To an extent, the girls do have a point. However, girls, it is up to you to take a stand and teach the boys that you are worth more than that. Stop giving in to the cute guys just because they are cute. Stop giving yourself away and stop degrading and devaluing yourself.
And guys...stop thinking with your penis. It is almost as much our fault for acting like sex-craved horn-dogs as it is the girls' fault for giving in and rewarding that kind of weakness. It is a far stronger man that waits to have sex for love then have sex for fun.
Having sex can be fun...but it can be so much more. It can be truly fulfilling and truly gratifying if you wait for the right partner and the right reasons. Having sex is not a way to create love where it doesn't exist, nor is it a way to extend a relationship. Sex is not an avenue to keep a person you care about with you. If you have to go to bed to keep someone, then they obviously do not value you enough. So, don't give in to pressure. That is not love, and that is not healthy.
We have become a free-sex society and it is tragically destroying our world and any semblance of morality. Guys and girls, stop going to bed with people you aren't married to. If you wait until there is a real sense of love and meaning between partners, everything will be so much better.
Ok, I am off the high horse now...but I am still right.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
"Love," "Marriage," and "Divorce."
As of this morning, the dream turned nightmare will officially be over. We go before the courts and make official that admittance that, yet again, the words "love" and "marriage" are just catchphrases, and hold little real meaning.
What has happened to the world? Where is the character? Where is the moral values? Where is the strength in spirit? Why have we, as a society and the world at large, allowed the sacred institutions of love and marriage become so trivial?
We stand up with our anti-rainbow rings to shut down lesbians and gays from using the term marriage, pretending in that instance that it still means something. Yet, as a society, people constantly get married and divorced as if we are all trapped in Salem and "Days of Our Lives."
No matter how entertaining and exciting and intriguing it might be to see Bo go from Billy to Hope to Billy to Hope and back again....or see John with Kate, Kate with Roman, John with Marlena, Roman with Marlena, or any of 1,000 combinations...one thing holds true: the constant switching with little to no real thought or emotional attachments is immoral, wrong, and disgraceful. It might be a show, but our society is just like it.
Far too often I hear or see people getting married because they should, because its what they are supposed to do. Instead of finding the person who you want to spend your life with, the goal is to find the person who hangs in the longest and then get hitched. It is few and far between to find a REAL marriage based on REAL love..and that is sad.
When I got married, as quick as it might have been, I got married for the right reasons. I was in love and intended to spend my life making my wife happy and was willing to fight with every ounce of my being to make us work through the hard times. I intended on marrying one person and spending my life loving that one person. Sadly, she had other reasons for getting married, and those reasons are still a painful mystery.
Part of our problem is that we are all programmed to think sex is a major function of EVERY relationship. If you are with a girl 3 weeks and she's not giving in, there MUST be something wrong, right? If a guy resists the temptation, the woman feels its an insult and its because he really isn't attracted to her. If one partner doesn't want to have sex immediately, there MUST be something wrong with the people involved and the relationship itself.
I gave in, sadly, and devalued the gift of sex by participating before marriage. I only gave in for two reasons: I knew in my heart that I was with the woman I was going to marry, and I felt pressured and that my not giving in was hurting her feelings and would hurt our relationship.
Unfortunately, giving in did hurt the relationship and we didn't allow the proper foundation for a relationship to be built. Perhaps because of that she was able to drop me so easily...in her case there was no real foundation because we rushed every part of the relationship and it distorted her views.
That is the biggest problem...most people today don't know how to build a relationship without getting into bed immediately. You can never really love someone if the growth of the relationship depends on sex. That is the root of the problem. Sex is devalued and used as a recreational activity with little to no moral responsibility.
If the gift designed for a husband and wife is devalued, it only stands to reason and logic that the next step would be the crumbling of the meaning of marriage. If you can have sex for free, why go through the rigamarole of building a relationship and a solid marriage?
This blog has probably ranted enough. I just wish that the next time I am able to give someone my heart and marry again, they will share my beliefs. Beliefs that say marriage is sacred, and not a legal agreement that will eventually become an inconvinience because they didn't enter it with the proper beliefs and values.
I hope that those with children, or those still growing themselves, will become examples of this idea. The idea that love and marriage really do mean something and should not be thrown around like the term "lol" in an IM conversation. The idea that divorce should be avoided at ALL costs, and only be a LAST resort, and come about after both parties have given each other the best effort they can.
What has happened to the world? Where is the character? Where is the moral values? Where is the strength in spirit? Why have we, as a society and the world at large, allowed the sacred institutions of love and marriage become so trivial?
We stand up with our anti-rainbow rings to shut down lesbians and gays from using the term marriage, pretending in that instance that it still means something. Yet, as a society, people constantly get married and divorced as if we are all trapped in Salem and "Days of Our Lives."
No matter how entertaining and exciting and intriguing it might be to see Bo go from Billy to Hope to Billy to Hope and back again....or see John with Kate, Kate with Roman, John with Marlena, Roman with Marlena, or any of 1,000 combinations...one thing holds true: the constant switching with little to no real thought or emotional attachments is immoral, wrong, and disgraceful. It might be a show, but our society is just like it.
Far too often I hear or see people getting married because they should, because its what they are supposed to do. Instead of finding the person who you want to spend your life with, the goal is to find the person who hangs in the longest and then get hitched. It is few and far between to find a REAL marriage based on REAL love..and that is sad.
When I got married, as quick as it might have been, I got married for the right reasons. I was in love and intended to spend my life making my wife happy and was willing to fight with every ounce of my being to make us work through the hard times. I intended on marrying one person and spending my life loving that one person. Sadly, she had other reasons for getting married, and those reasons are still a painful mystery.
Part of our problem is that we are all programmed to think sex is a major function of EVERY relationship. If you are with a girl 3 weeks and she's not giving in, there MUST be something wrong, right? If a guy resists the temptation, the woman feels its an insult and its because he really isn't attracted to her. If one partner doesn't want to have sex immediately, there MUST be something wrong with the people involved and the relationship itself.
I gave in, sadly, and devalued the gift of sex by participating before marriage. I only gave in for two reasons: I knew in my heart that I was with the woman I was going to marry, and I felt pressured and that my not giving in was hurting her feelings and would hurt our relationship.
Unfortunately, giving in did hurt the relationship and we didn't allow the proper foundation for a relationship to be built. Perhaps because of that she was able to drop me so easily...in her case there was no real foundation because we rushed every part of the relationship and it distorted her views.
That is the biggest problem...most people today don't know how to build a relationship without getting into bed immediately. You can never really love someone if the growth of the relationship depends on sex. That is the root of the problem. Sex is devalued and used as a recreational activity with little to no moral responsibility.
If the gift designed for a husband and wife is devalued, it only stands to reason and logic that the next step would be the crumbling of the meaning of marriage. If you can have sex for free, why go through the rigamarole of building a relationship and a solid marriage?
This blog has probably ranted enough. I just wish that the next time I am able to give someone my heart and marry again, they will share my beliefs. Beliefs that say marriage is sacred, and not a legal agreement that will eventually become an inconvinience because they didn't enter it with the proper beliefs and values.
I hope that those with children, or those still growing themselves, will become examples of this idea. The idea that love and marriage really do mean something and should not be thrown around like the term "lol" in an IM conversation. The idea that divorce should be avoided at ALL costs, and only be a LAST resort, and come about after both parties have given each other the best effort they can.
Sunday, January 1, 2006
Happy New Year 2006!
Happy New Year!
Just an idea...this goes out to my women friends. Please tell two of your friends, and tell them to tell two more and so on.
Stop letting yourselves be cheapened.
Stop letting yourself be convinced that you have to look slutty and or act slutty to get a man's attention or to get somewhere in life. Stop encouraging my fellow menfolk to think from their zippers by giving in to their childish demands.
Stop being so forgiving of men for cheating. Cheating is the ultimate hurt and insult. Forgiving is just slightly different than encouraging. Forgiving a cheater gives them control...gives them the power to cheat more often because they know they have you around their finger.
Stop acting like the women on TV. Women, like us males, have so few positive role models. The only time a woman should let a man into her bed on the first date is if that first date didn't come until after they fell in love and were married.
I am not trying to be holier-than-thou. I am not trying to insult or berate or come down on. It is merely an idea I propose. I did, in fact, lose a friend of three years over a difference in ideas over the summer...so I know how overreacted people can get. But I hope you can take this in the spirit in which it is intended.
Happy New Year! May God bless your 2006.
Just an idea...this goes out to my women friends. Please tell two of your friends, and tell them to tell two more and so on.
Stop letting yourselves be cheapened.
Stop letting yourself be convinced that you have to look slutty and or act slutty to get a man's attention or to get somewhere in life. Stop encouraging my fellow menfolk to think from their zippers by giving in to their childish demands.
Stop being so forgiving of men for cheating. Cheating is the ultimate hurt and insult. Forgiving is just slightly different than encouraging. Forgiving a cheater gives them control...gives them the power to cheat more often because they know they have you around their finger.
Stop acting like the women on TV. Women, like us males, have so few positive role models. The only time a woman should let a man into her bed on the first date is if that first date didn't come until after they fell in love and were married.
I am not trying to be holier-than-thou. I am not trying to insult or berate or come down on. It is merely an idea I propose. I did, in fact, lose a friend of three years over a difference in ideas over the summer...so I know how overreacted people can get. But I hope you can take this in the spirit in which it is intended.
Happy New Year! May God bless your 2006.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Race in America. Can a White Man even talk about it?
Today, I am going to make some people uneasy.
GOOD. People think better when they are taken out of their comfort zone.
Today, I am talking against MICHAEL ERIC DYSON and for BILL COSBY.
We all know who Bill Cosby is...a man who EARNED his way to prominence in not only th black world, but in the world as a whole. He went to school, read books, learned proper English, and became a rich, successful man. And he did it without relying on affirmative action or some other liberal "equalizer" to get him through. He is a brilliant man who worked hard to get what he has. Beginning at a speech to the NAACP, Cosby started a war on ignorance, laziness, crime, and lack of personal responsibility.
Many applauded his speech and his efforts to combat the downfalls of lower middle class and poor blacks. He brought their entire lifestyle and culture to question, challenged their disregard for taking it upon themselves to prosper without crime, and attacked their willingness to settle for the life they have without working toward a better future. As far as I am concerned, Cosby hasn't spoken a mistruth since he began his attack on the poor black cutlure.
But, then again, I am white. Where parents, for the most part, teach children that education and respect will get you places.
Cosby feels that in this country, in this day, no one who gets an education, develops proper self-respect, develops a respect for others, and becomes a worthwhile employee, anyone who does that, will succeed. Cosby sees ads many see, many poor blacks are not doing that today.
So, Cosby has been calling his race out-he wants work ethic to become a staple lesson to blacks. He wants a high level of personal responsibility restored. He wants blacks to become more educated, more responsible, hold higher moral standards, be better parents, and build a life that does not involve crime.
Why is that so wrong?
Michael Eric Dyson, also a successful African American, is a professor who completely disagrees with Cosby's attack on the poor black lifestyle. In fact, he put pen to paper and has a book out called: Is Bill Cosby Right? Or has the Black Middle Class Lost its Mind? This book is an attack on Cosby's attack. This book is a 300 page list of excuses for the poor black community to do just as they have for the past 20 years.
In an excerpt from his book available here: at NPR's website, Dyson insluts blacks as a whole while also attacking Cosby for coming out and challenging blacks.
Cosby's overemphasis on personal responsibility, not structural features, wrongly locates the source of poor black suffering—and by implication its remedy—in the lives of the poor. When you think the problems are personal, you think the solutions are the same. If only the poor were willing to work harder, act better, get educated, stay out of jail and parent more effectively, their problems would go away. It's hard to argue against any of these things in the abstract; in principle such suggestions sound just fine. But one could do all of these things and still be in bad shape at home, work or school. For instance, Cosby completely ignores shifts in the economy that give value to some work while other work, in the words of William Julius Wilson, "disappears." In our high-tech, high-skilled economy where low-skilled work is being scaled back, phased out, exported, or severely under-compensated, all the right behavior in the world won't create better jobs with more pay. And without such support, all the goals that Cosby expresses for the black poor are not likely to become reality. If the rigidly segregated educational system continues to miserably fail poor blacks by failing to prepare their children for the world of work, then admonitions to "stay in school" may ring hollow.
(The bold and RED is mine for emphasis on some of the statements made here.)
First, the comment that Cosby overemphasizes personal responsibility. To me, that is a statement that completely supports Cosby's statements. How can you OVEREMPHASIZE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY? The choices one makes in this life are what determines our life. Yes, there are outside factors that contribute to our successes and failures. There are people who will do us wrong. There are unfair circumstances. SO WHAT? Get over it. Move on. Try harder. It is up to God's plan and your personal responsibility to yourself and your family as to whether you are a success in life. However, you cannot wait for God or any other deity, situation, or person to arrive to your front door step. You must make the efforts necessary to be a success. It is up to YOU and no other human being.
Dyson then berates his entire race with the second comments I put in bold. He all but calls blacks too dumb to work high-tech, high-skilled jobs. He says that in the high-tech, high-skilled work place, there are no or fewer opportunities for blacks. HUH? Just because the world is developing and requiring intelligence and education, there is no place for blacks? NO. If ANYONE gets an education and has work ethic, there is room for them in the work place. This is what Cosby is getting at. This goes back to the personal responsibility issue. You can't expect a drug dealer to drop the dime bags and walk into the CEO's chair at Microsoft. No. He's got to go to school, learn how to type and read and gain an understanding of computers, THEN he goes to work and climbs the ladder. Few, if any, successful people started on the top rung.
Dyson thinks blacks can't hang with the high tech world. Cosby thinks if they get and education and work for it, they can. Who do you side with?
The last comment in this excerpt from the excerpt bothers me very much. He blames the education system for the poor state that schools in highly black areas are in. How about looking around, Dyson. Its a vicious cycle of crime, irresponsibility, and laziness. The schools are in bad shape because the kids were not raised right and are running the school because they have not been taught responsibility. So, they have kids who go through the same cycle. IF the parents of poor black kids would raise them with integrity and personal responsibility, the kids would not ruin the schools and would be able to learn while in the building. However, when you are raised by the streets while mom is either coked and smoked out of her mind and sleeping with random men, or she is out working 2 jobs because her sorry man left, then the streets is all the kids know. And they bring the streets to school.
Bill Cosby is right. He may seem mean, hateful, and a traitor to blacks at times, but trust me, he is not. Cosby's crusade can save many blacks from the vicious cycle they are in, and at the same time, save our country. Cosby needs support from every person of every race.
If you ask me, Dyson is the traitor because he excuses the black behavior and encourages blacks to stay right were they are.
GOOD. People think better when they are taken out of their comfort zone.
Today, I am talking against MICHAEL ERIC DYSON and for BILL COSBY.
We all know who Bill Cosby is...a man who EARNED his way to prominence in not only th black world, but in the world as a whole. He went to school, read books, learned proper English, and became a rich, successful man. And he did it without relying on affirmative action or some other liberal "equalizer" to get him through. He is a brilliant man who worked hard to get what he has. Beginning at a speech to the NAACP, Cosby started a war on ignorance, laziness, crime, and lack of personal responsibility.
Many applauded his speech and his efforts to combat the downfalls of lower middle class and poor blacks. He brought their entire lifestyle and culture to question, challenged their disregard for taking it upon themselves to prosper without crime, and attacked their willingness to settle for the life they have without working toward a better future. As far as I am concerned, Cosby hasn't spoken a mistruth since he began his attack on the poor black cutlure.
But, then again, I am white. Where parents, for the most part, teach children that education and respect will get you places.
Cosby feels that in this country, in this day, no one who gets an education, develops proper self-respect, develops a respect for others, and becomes a worthwhile employee, anyone who does that, will succeed. Cosby sees ads many see, many poor blacks are not doing that today.
So, Cosby has been calling his race out-he wants work ethic to become a staple lesson to blacks. He wants a high level of personal responsibility restored. He wants blacks to become more educated, more responsible, hold higher moral standards, be better parents, and build a life that does not involve crime.
Why is that so wrong?
Michael Eric Dyson, also a successful African American, is a professor who completely disagrees with Cosby's attack on the poor black lifestyle. In fact, he put pen to paper and has a book out called: Is Bill Cosby Right? Or has the Black Middle Class Lost its Mind? This book is an attack on Cosby's attack. This book is a 300 page list of excuses for the poor black community to do just as they have for the past 20 years.
In an excerpt from his book available here: at NPR's website, Dyson insluts blacks as a whole while also attacking Cosby for coming out and challenging blacks.
Cosby's overemphasis on personal responsibility, not structural features, wrongly locates the source of poor black suffering—and by implication its remedy—in the lives of the poor. When you think the problems are personal, you think the solutions are the same. If only the poor were willing to work harder, act better, get educated, stay out of jail and parent more effectively, their problems would go away. It's hard to argue against any of these things in the abstract; in principle such suggestions sound just fine. But one could do all of these things and still be in bad shape at home, work or school. For instance, Cosby completely ignores shifts in the economy that give value to some work while other work, in the words of William Julius Wilson, "disappears." In our high-tech, high-skilled economy where low-skilled work is being scaled back, phased out, exported, or severely under-compensated, all the right behavior in the world won't create better jobs with more pay. And without such support, all the goals that Cosby expresses for the black poor are not likely to become reality. If the rigidly segregated educational system continues to miserably fail poor blacks by failing to prepare their children for the world of work, then admonitions to "stay in school" may ring hollow.
(The bold and RED is mine for emphasis on some of the statements made here.)
First, the comment that Cosby overemphasizes personal responsibility. To me, that is a statement that completely supports Cosby's statements. How can you OVEREMPHASIZE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY? The choices one makes in this life are what determines our life. Yes, there are outside factors that contribute to our successes and failures. There are people who will do us wrong. There are unfair circumstances. SO WHAT? Get over it. Move on. Try harder. It is up to God's plan and your personal responsibility to yourself and your family as to whether you are a success in life. However, you cannot wait for God or any other deity, situation, or person to arrive to your front door step. You must make the efforts necessary to be a success. It is up to YOU and no other human being.
Dyson then berates his entire race with the second comments I put in bold. He all but calls blacks too dumb to work high-tech, high-skilled jobs. He says that in the high-tech, high-skilled work place, there are no or fewer opportunities for blacks. HUH? Just because the world is developing and requiring intelligence and education, there is no place for blacks? NO. If ANYONE gets an education and has work ethic, there is room for them in the work place. This is what Cosby is getting at. This goes back to the personal responsibility issue. You can't expect a drug dealer to drop the dime bags and walk into the CEO's chair at Microsoft. No. He's got to go to school, learn how to type and read and gain an understanding of computers, THEN he goes to work and climbs the ladder. Few, if any, successful people started on the top rung.
Dyson thinks blacks can't hang with the high tech world. Cosby thinks if they get and education and work for it, they can. Who do you side with?
The last comment in this excerpt from the excerpt bothers me very much. He blames the education system for the poor state that schools in highly black areas are in. How about looking around, Dyson. Its a vicious cycle of crime, irresponsibility, and laziness. The schools are in bad shape because the kids were not raised right and are running the school because they have not been taught responsibility. So, they have kids who go through the same cycle. IF the parents of poor black kids would raise them with integrity and personal responsibility, the kids would not ruin the schools and would be able to learn while in the building. However, when you are raised by the streets while mom is either coked and smoked out of her mind and sleeping with random men, or she is out working 2 jobs because her sorry man left, then the streets is all the kids know. And they bring the streets to school.
Bill Cosby is right. He may seem mean, hateful, and a traitor to blacks at times, but trust me, he is not. Cosby's crusade can save many blacks from the vicious cycle they are in, and at the same time, save our country. Cosby needs support from every person of every race.
If you ask me, Dyson is the traitor because he excuses the black behavior and encourages blacks to stay right were they are.
Monday, May 16, 2005
The Self Image of Young Girls...It's Scary.
Does this look like someone who needs to drop a few pounds? Didn't think so. But Lindsay Lohan believes that if she went arm to twiglike arm with some of her fellow streamlined starlets, she'd look like she was carrying extra baggage.
"... Compared to a lot of actresses my age, I'm actually overweight," the alarmingly slimmed-down teen queen tells Teen Vogue. "There are so many really, really thin girls out there."
(Perhaps one of them could give the once super-shapely beauty a mirror and a grilled cheese sandwich. Too mean? All right, moving on ...)
Lohan has dismissed eating-disorder whispers, attributing her skin-and-bones bod to a loss of "baby fat," and she tells the magazine she "feels good" about her new figure because "you can fit into more things."--This is an article online on MSN.com.
Wow.
Lindsey Lohan used to be a very attractive girl. Now, she is sickeningly thin.And on top of that, she is obviously sick in the head too. She thinks she could lose a few pounds? WHERE??
And, as a pop-culture princess, what the hell is she doing to little girls around the world with her comments?
Folks, its time to stop the thin is in craze. Its perfectly okay to want to be fit and healthy...but to drop to a point where your only cleavage is actually ribs poing through, that is a major problem.
Girls today keep getting the wrong messages...and they keep buying it. I can guarentee at least one girl will be directly affected by Lohans comments and will die from starving herself to be that sickeningly thin. I guarentee Lindsey Lohan's irresponsible comments and example will result in one family burying a young girl who thought that "just a few more pounds" wouldn't hurt.
Thanks, Linsey, for yet another great example of what girls need to grow up thinking.
We need more Mia Hamms...more Kathy Irelands...more Serena Williamses...more women who demonstrate that women can weigh over 100 pouinds, be healthy, and still look good.
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